today is a day of celebration

for another child has come back into the father's hands.

it's crazy how another person finding what they needed can realign everything you're struggling with and bring this overwhelming gratitude and joy to your heart.

i love today.

house

really brought me to a dry point.
here's a quick synopsis of my romantic year so far.

i'd chased a girl (A) for around six months, and with almost no avail since she has a bad trust issue and i had a bad lying problem. but she left for two months, and i moved in with some friends who introduced me to another girl (B) who has a boyfriend at bootcamp who had been leaving her unhappy. B and i hit it off thanks to a drunken night. and i began backing away from A when she needed me most, in an effort to be here for B who was struggling on whether to stay with boyfriend or follow me down this rabbit hole. tonight, after about a month of an atropied relationship with A, B tells me she and boyfriend patched things up and she's happy again. so now, i feel swept away. i want so bad to chase A again, but don't deserve to. i'm a horrible romantic interest, let alone friend.

now, tonight i watched the latest episode of HOUSE, where he realizes his medicine is atropying communication between his left and right brain, causing his left brain to create hallucinations in order to give his right brain the medication. and i feel as though, this relates to my current situation. yet, i don't know exactly how. maybe it's a realization i've just had, and i correlate the realization in the episode. idk, but what i've found, is, or at least, what theory i've come up with is,

B has used me simply to feel close to a male figure. and i'm new, so, its okay. idk exactly how to react. i've treated this girl like a princess, and she's shown me sides of her nobody's seen. now we've got an odd connection, and i don't know how to treat this. any advice would be much appreciated.

so this is summer

and i love it. i'm generally happier and more responsible than i've ever been. except, the drummer of my favorite band has apparently abandoned them. that's a real bummer, but i guess God's got a plan in here somewhere. idk. my conquests confuse me. why do i fall hardest for the girls not available? it's like some sort of twisted self torture. i know i can get mentally and personably clsoe to them without physicality complicating things, so i do, then i fall for them, and want that physicality, but can't bring myself to ask them to betray their men. but i still feel like a shitty person for hinting at that. which i should. i just wish i had more integrity.

here we go

hopefully i can delete this soon

फ्रुस्त्रशन.

सो इ'वे रेसन्त्ली बेकोमे गुड फ्रिएंड्स विथ अ गर्ल। तोनिघ्त, वे वेरे सुप्पोसेद तो हंग आउट, सो इ कान्सलेद प्लान्स विथ अन ओल्ड फ्रेंड। सो फार तोनिघ्त, इ'वे बौघत न्यू पंट्स इन अन एफ्फोर्ट तो लुक मोरे अत्त्रक्टिवे अस तो वू हेर, सैट इन बर्न्स&नोबल्स रीडिंग पोस्त्सेक्रेत बुक्स, व्रित्तें माय ओवन सीक्रेट ओं अन इंडेक्स कार्ड, लेफ्ट आईटी इन अ बुक फॉर सोमोने एल्स तो फंड, एंड बौघत स्तार्बुक्क्स। नो, इ'म सित्तिंग ओउत्सिदे शिवेरिंग बेकाउसे आईटी'स फुल इनसाइड। इ'म तल्किंग तो हेर ओं ऍम, एंड वेटिंग। वे वेरे सुप्पोसेद तो मीत उप थ्री और फौर हौर्स अगो। इ'वे वैतेद अल थिस टाइम, जुस्त बेकाउसे इ दोन'टी वांट तो हंग आउट विथ अन्योने एल्स ठाट'स इन तोवन। अल इ वांट इस फॉर हेर तो वांट तो किस में अस मच अस इ वांट तो किस हेर। इ'म स्टार्टिंग तो थिंक ठाट'ल नेवर हप्पें। आईटी'स सो उप्सेत्तिंग तो थिंक ठाट इ केयर थिस मच अबाउट सोमोने व्हो, फ्रॉम थे लूक्स ऑफ़ थिंग्स, दोएसं'टी केयर हलफ अस मच अबाउट में। नो, शे'स फिनाल्ली रेडी तो हंग आउट। इ'ल गो सिट ओं अ कार विथ हेर शिवेरिंग उन्कोन्त्रोल्लाब्ली, एंड वान्तिंग तो पुश हेर बेक एंड किस हेर। बुत वे'ल प्रोबब्ल्य एंड उप सित्तिंग, स्मोकिंग, एंड तल्किंग। एंड इ'ल नेवर तेल हेर हाउ फ्रुस्त्रतेद इ ऍम रिघ्त नो। इ वांट तो जुस्त स्क्रें फुक्क यू अत हेर, बुत इ'म तू निस ऑफ़ अ परसों तो बे होनेस्त। सुच अ कोन्त्रदिच्शन। वेल, हियर'स अनोठेर निघत ऑफ़ दिसप्पोइन्त्मेन्त.

that mistake of enabling transliteration actually helped me get out what i want to say. without hurting any feelings.

Post Secret: lucky bastard!

Post Secret: lucky bastard!
Originally uploaded by within(Reason)

Post Secret Friend

Post Secret Friend
Originally uploaded by within(Reason)

wow

Flickr

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